Waking up to a decision

Josephine awoke to the sound of Bank Swallows outside her open window--that faced the side of the yard against the stream that ran through their property. She smiled, thinking of the tidy nests the little creatures were making in the sand--the families forming. Jo got dressed quickly in the cool air of morning; she walked to the bathroom down the hall and splashed her face in the basin. Sarah was already finishing the dishes from preparing breakfast, and Josephine was met with a heaping plate of waffles with fresh butter and syrup, homemade peppered bacon, and milk from Sugar Bees, their favorite cow. At least it was Jo's favorite cow, she'd always liked Sugar Bees' patches of black and white the best, and swore to her brothers her milk was the sweetest with a hint of honey. Jo looked at the plate and the glass, then her excitement vanished.

"Mama, what's going on? Is someone visiting today?" she asked with concern.

"No sweetheart, no one is coming today," Sarah took a deep breath for what she knew would be difficult.

Sarah paused a moment, then with great care started, "Jo, I wanted to give you something to work on while I tell you what's been on Papa's and my mind. You know, we have noticed you seem so unlike yourself these days..."

Josephine practically dropped the plate on the table, spilling some of the buttery syrup on the oak table. "Mama, I don't understand, you...I...what can I do? I feel like I'm all alone..." she trailed off in a slur of tears, hands covering her face. Josephine slide into the closest chair and laid her head in hands on the table.

Sarah knelt next to her daughter, one hand stroking her back, the other firmly on her wrist. "I know it's hard, I know, but we need to remember how to keep going. Miss Jacobs and I were talking and she thought of a wonderful idea. Do you think you can look at me for a moment?" Sarah asked with such entreaty, Jo couldn't stop herself from raising her head.

"Sweetheart, how would you feel about getting away for a while? Miss Jacobs knows a really nice woman at her old school, and she thinks you'd really enjoy some time in a place that is a little warmer than here."

Josephine searched her mother's face for how she should react--she wanted to please mama so desperately. Her life had been so much sorrow since Mitch was gone. And Jo could feel every tingling pinprick of grief Sarah tried to keep from her serene face.

"How long would I be visiting?" she asked.

"How would you feel about going to school in a place called "Santa Barbara" by the ocean?" Sarah hushed her tone when she said the place, hoping to inspire some excitement.

"But we're not far from the ocean now, mama..." Jo's face began to wither.

"Yes, but down there you could meet some girls your own age and learn things I couldn't teach you."

"But Miss Jacob's teaches me, mama, you just check my work to..." Jo stopped her thought, "Mama, I don't want to go!" Josephine's tears blazed anew on her already ruddy cheeks, sobs wracking her tiny shoulders like little earthquakes.

Sarah held her daughter until her sobs became mere hiccups. She hummed the song she sang to Josephine when she was a baby. It was the only thing that would hush her to dreams.

"Jo," she almost whispered, "don't worry about all this now, we have some time before we have to decide anything." Sarah knew her own words were lies, Miss Jacob's was very clear about the week left to transfer students for mid-semester enrollment. But Sarah also knew she couldn't bear to see her sweet baby girl in so much pain all at once. Josephine was going whether it was under her own volition or theirs.