The State of the Ayers'

It had been two weeks since Mitchell died, and the family was still in shock. Malcolm and Sarah tried to keep the backbone of their remaining children's lives steady and strong by continuing daily activities as usual--but also trying to offer hints at distractions--an extra trip to town, a longer afternoon meal--anything to lighten their minds. Mitchell was such a loss to both Grant and Jo, he was between them so staunchly, he could negotiate any problem or difference with such ease and love. He always knew how to coax a smile from his little sister, or break the stern scowl habitually on Grant's face.

Sarah knew this was particularly difficult for Malcolm--as he was the middle child in his family too. Malcolm and Mitch often played cards on nights when neither could sleep--they found solace in the shared burden of the middleman, the go-between. Malcolm would never have admitted it, but he favored Mitchell and had hoped to leave the family's affairs to his keeping. Grant was set on making his name in the grandness due south, in San Francisco, and as far as Josephine and her future, Malcolm simply wanted her to grow into more of a lady. Mitchell would have been his answer to everything he hadn't accomplished--Mitch was just like him, and could learn from his mistakes and would listen to him. Now he was gone, and any hope Malcolm had of vicariously escaping his choices had foundered with his beloved son.

Josephine saw through the thin veil barely masking her father's anguish--she knew father had liked Mitch best--even if Grant didn't notice, or care--and she always tried to be the son she knew he wanted instead of a girl. She made a point of being active with her brothers, not fussing with dolls or begging mother to help stitch rosebuds into her socks. She would try to read the books Grant and Mitch brought home, she would ask about the new things happening in the "world." A world that for her, had just shrunk to swirling black thoughts of Mitchell. With him gone, Jo had no bridge to Grant, and she had lost the brother closest to her.

She had never really cried much, and only felt a slow stream of tears seep from her eyes at the
wake. Jo thought a man wouldn't cry--and even though Grant and Malcolm wore glassy eyes the day Mitchell was lain in the earth--neither cried. So she slept. And went to school. And kept silent. Josephine was silent for two weeks and it was only now that Sarah was beginning to think she might do something about it.